This has been smoldering for some time.
The Snitch Mentality
We learn it early in life.
As children on the playground we quickly learn that playmates will be
sharply critical of those who say “I’m going to tell”. So we, being the children we were, acquiesce
to peer pressure and accept that being a snitch is a bad thing, or, if not a
bad thing, something that we simply do not want to be.
It happens so easily.
A child with a good moral compass that sees a wrong and says “I’m going
to tell” is often easily persuaded to overlook the “wrong” to avoid being
labeled a snitch. After all, friends
don’t tell on friends. Do they? Well, do they!
I should mention that being a tattletale and reporting
everything a sibling does that irritates you is not being a snitch, that is
simply being a tattletale.
When a
“wrong” committed by a friend, relative or associate is noted and reported that
is being a snitch.
Sounds reasonable
that being a snitch is a bad thing, doesn’t it?
Well, let me reconstruct that sentence without the
distracting information about relatives and friends. “When a wrong is noted and
reported that is being a snitch”. Now it
sounds like being a snitch is the right thing to do, and it is.
Minor incidents of wrongs on the playground such as a small
lie, finding a lost article and not turning it in, taking a coin that you saw
someone drop, or knowing and not reporting the crib notes on a classmate’s hand
may seem trivial in an adult world, but here’s the problem. Once you break the rules and characterize not
doing the right thing as not being a snitch you have given yourself mental
permission to behave poorly. The
permission does not disappear when you become an adult.
The “snitch mentality” is alive and well in our
culture. Not by all of our citizens, but
surely by many. If your brother does
contract work and brags that he does no report income when paid in cash are you
really going to report him to the IRS?
If your sister falsely exaggerates losses on an insurance claim do you
simply shrug? Easy enough, in both
cases, to excuse their behavior by saying the family needs to stick together. And, even thought you might experience a
mental twinge of moral wrong you don’t want to be a snitch.
At this point let me introduce a requirement associated with
being a snitch. It requires a social attachment. Reporting a wrong committed by a complete
stranger with whom we have no social attachment is, considered by most, as
simply being a good citizen. Reporting a
wrong doer that is a friend, a relative, of the same race, a work colleague,
belongs to the same clique, or is a member of the same gang - that is being a
snitch.
So, if a social connection exists, is not reporting a wrong
doer the right thing to do? In the black
and white most would say no and even strongly support reporting the wrong
doer. But that is not necessarily what
happens in a world with shades of gray.
Loyalty to family can cause the most moral of persons to
hesitate where they might not otherwise.
Gang peer pressure can do the same, as can a simple friendship.
Guilt can also play a large part. Your friend pleads with you not to say
anything because it will “get them in trouble”.
Truly a request to cover-up by omission, which, should be an insult to
your integrity, but because of the social relationship not only are you not
insulted you are persuaded to “go along”.
You don’t want to be a snitch.
This narrative and others like it are not likely to change
the behavior of a large number of individuals, but it might influence a few. Our lives and thought processes are too
cluttered to always do the right thing.
Still, most people have a good moral compass and know, in their heart,
when a wrong has been committed.
So, use that knowledge, do the right thing, and leave the
“snitch mentality” on the elementary school playground - where it belongs.